Salt City 2011

Melissa and I have been busting ass getting ready for the Salt City Urban Art and Craft Market. Here are a couple of teasers:

BABY RADICAL!!!

So I t has been much too long but here I am getting ready for baby bird's fist birthday! She took her first steps the the other day and it was of course awesome. Her hair is out of control flowing madly in every directions little curls in the wind. She is saying mama and dada and bananananananana and kitty. All vital information for here to be able to communicate. Our little birdy has five teeth. The two top ones have a little gap that is so endearing when she smiles big. Melissa and I have been truly enjoying having the summer off being able to hang out and spend a lot of uninterrupted time with her. Both her and I are not looking forward to going back to work. I think it will be particularly hard on Melissa. We have been reading to here and she seems to love books not only for the bright pictures but also the funny sound they make when torn. We have taken her to a few art shows and that has been cool and I feel like we need to take her to experience more things. Although i do not agree with the Zoo we took here to the one in Syracuse and she seem to really enjoy it. She got to pet the elephant and she didn't bat an eyelash. But like I said I don't like zoos so I don't think we will be going back there. There are some animal sanctuary places around I think that kids can pet and feed animals.
Melissa and I don't have any land to garden on so we decided to grow plants on the porch and that has been going ok. we have harvested basil and that is about it. we have tomato plants but no tomatoes. There is one bell pepper that is still ripening and carrots that are VERY small. I still have a lot to learn about container gardens. I think the main thing there is that there is really not enough sunlight. I can't wait to move to someplace with some sun. Birdy likes to go hang out on the porch while we water the plants. Porch time is family time. We have also been getting ready for some craft markets were we will be set up as Team Valenzuela we will be selling my paintings, Melissa's photos, stuffed mustache neck pillows and quilted paper. Maybe some actual quilts/ sh'blankets (quilt made from layered sheets) well see how much we actually get made.

Woolgathering from the edge of our ship....

So we are a little over three months and Josephine's personality is really starting to blossom. She is so happy! This whole dad thing is amazing. Melissa is going back to work next week and that is really hard for us. Although not having money to buy diapers is even harder so we do what we must. Melissa really wants to be able to stay home and I wish she could but we just don't make enough for that to be possible right now.
I have been dreaming of buying a house and trying to be as self sustainable as possible in the next few years. I mean I read somewhere that children can be told what to do by their parents but modeling is the best way to teach. That sounds pretty solid to me. So I really want to be able to have a little place outside of town with a bunch of land so we can garden and can and have a big studio and and and... Man I was talking to some of my buddies and we sort of got on this kick that we could all buy a house together and live in a little community. My heart filled with hope. I love this idea. I think even if they are not as serious as I am, I am going to build little guest houses on our land just to entice them to live with us. I can picture it now. Baking bread, growing pumpkins, having house shows with our close friends, fires to roast corn. Perhaps this is a little overly idealistic but really, what makes this impossible? Nothing. all we need to do is to do it. No one needs to show us what our lives should look like.
I have thought this for a while. We are stuck in this narrow lane of life structures and I want something different. I think a lot of people do. Everyone I have spoken to about this is in agreement. Living off the grid would be so awesome. I just can't ever seem to figure out how to get to there from here. It takes lots of money. That is the sad truth. You cant leave the system behind unless you engage in the system wherein lies the trap. For now we try to get a little closer to living in balance with our environment. I am going to try really hard to be vegetarian. I have been in this process for a few years now. It was just hard because so much good Mexican food is meat. Now that I know how to make vegetarian tamales I think I will be ok. We are going to raise Josie vegetarian too we have decided. Later on she will make her own choice but for now I think we can feed her good nutritious vegetarian food. Hopefully when we have a garden she will be able to eat local too. I find my self wondering where my food came from lately. Food from half a world away and packed with preservatives and chemicals don't exactly make me feel healthy. I had an apple the other day that seemed like it was sprayed with lysol and dipped in a vat of wax. Disgusting. I miss my mom's vegetable garden. You could eat the snow peas right off the vine. and it was delicious.
I just know that this walmart/television/music video hyper-sexualized/non-culture is not the environment I want to raise my daughter in. I want her to be able to question the practices that are shoved down our throats. I want a Homemade life for her. DIY culture is addictive. The satisfaction you get from making something yourself and being able to use it is just amazing. I mean I have always loved making stuff. In high school my sisters and I always made or altered our clothes. And yeah at first Mom would get pissed but after a while she would help us figure out how to bleach and rip my pants for maximum punkness or sew a Ramones patch onto my hoodie. She is a crafter herself. Mom taught me how to sew when I was pretty young. I remember her always being in her little room sewing till all hours of the night. A little orange light glowing from twilight till midnight. Even now the sound of the sewing machine soothes me to the bone. Mom made a quilt from my old bleached jeans when I grew out of them. She had been collecting my jeans and cutting them into beautifully irregular squares. That quilt is one of my most prized possessions. It is warm and made with love. That is the sort of thing I want to pass down to my daughter. The kind of appreciation that comes with making something with your hands and knowing that it was hewn from a love that can only be forged in the furnace of a family hearth. Thanks Mom for showing me that.

2 months full of color

So Josie has been alive for two months and I have never been happier in my life. When I hold her I think this is how it is supposed to be. I feels just natural. Sleep is a getting better all the time. she sleeps longer in the night but her night does not start till about 3 in the morning. She has been to the docs a few times and she is going again today. She has Acid reflux that seems to really bug her. Last night was especially hectic. No fever or anything but we are going to taker her in just to play it safe. I think she will be fine. perhaps we just have to give her more zantac or something. She is growing after all and the dose will most likely go up because of that.
This month is outrageously over booked. I have been printing like crazy with Isaac and Teddy. I have been real absent this week and even though it is only tuesday I know that every night till sunday i will be running around arranging shows and printing. Saturday I got my tattoo of a sparrow and then we went to Pumpkin Fest. That was both awesome and nerve racking. It was nerve racking because it was pretty loud and there was about 300 people packed into a small park. then we saw all sorts of buddies and that was cool cause they all had their kids. It gave me this sort of feeling of being part of the grand tradition of cool parents. all these cool kids eventually turn into cool adults and some of them become cool parents. Sunday I printed envelopes for some new art books that my buddy and I finished last week. Then last night I helped said buddy print an art print. Tonight I print a show poster with Teddy. Wednesday I get to go to a show in Rochester (Gaslight Anthem, Loved Ones and Murder By Death!!). Then Thursday I have to go drop work off at the Gear Factory space in Syracuse and the hang the show at the Art Association. Saturday both shows open so I will be doing a double shift. Then finally on Sunday we are having family day. Then insanity starts again to get ready for the Indie Series and the Salt City Urban Craft Fair. Yikes!
I know this is putting a lot of pressure on Melissa. My hope is that by doing this I can make some much needed extra scratch. Money is tight and selling work has never been more important. The major events this month got planned before Josie was born so I am making a not never to plan like this again. There are four major events that are happening this month, five if you count Halloween and six if you count the book release. Live and learn. In the past October has always been crazy but it is as if I packed about a million times more shit into it this year that before. I love halloween but I will be glad when October is over.
More later......

The Fall and the wild where we lay.

Team Valenzuela and The Neverending story

It was around 4:30pm when the doc's office called and asked if we would like to move our induction up from 6:00 pm to 6:30 am. Of Course we should, I said, because I wanted to meet our baby so badly. Melissa told them yes and our brains sort of teemed with worry, excitement and holyshitness. We both went around the house to tidy up. It seemed to take forever. We wanted the house to be absolutely ready for Josephine's arrival. We got in bed around 11:30 or so. Maybe earlier.


We lay there in the dark thinking. I could not sleep at all. I asked Melissa if she was still awake. Yes. We talked a little while about what the next day would bring. I said we need to get some rest. She got up to go to the bathroom then we where going to get some Z's. I lay there and wondered. When I heard her coming back I kinda knew. I am not sure if it was the pace of her footfalls or some psychic connection or whatever. She came in the room and said, "Cayetano, I think my water just broke'. I got up and we decided we should call the doc. It is an answering service so we had to wait for the midwife to call back. While we did that we called Melissa's mom and by the time the midwife called back we were dressed and headed out the door. Melissa was having some pretty intense contractions by the time we got in the van at around 12:05. By 12:35 we arrived at the Hospital. (Usually an Hour drive. I drove 90 MPH the whole time)


When we got into the room a nurse who seemed a little surly got us prepped and put melissa on monitors. A mid wife came in that we didn't know and I worried for only a moment because she turned out to be the sweetest lady ever. She had a soothing voice and was not afraid to touch us in a caring way. A hand on the shoulder or a head pet is kind of amazing when being administered by a caring midwife. She seemed genuinely happy to be there even though she said she had been at the hospital for three days with out sleeping in her own bed. Her name was Mary and she was awesome. She told us that we would be able to push soon. My heart pounded. Holy crap! I did stay calm though. I knew I had to, for Melissa. I would not show her that I was feeling at all worried. Her contractions where coming really fast now and she was in alot of pain. She did not shout. She did not curse me. She merely whimpered and strained and said it hurt. I found it really hard to not be able to help her even though she insisted that I was helping by talking to her and holding her. I tried to put on some music but I could not get the ipod to work. I was so pissed at my self for not checking it the day before. I ended up calling my sister at like 2:30 in the morning asking her to bring me a boom box and some music. Carrie showed up with SIgur Ros which was f'n perfect. (later I realized the problem was that I hadn't switched the external speakers on.) Melissa's mom was in the room till about 3:30 or so. She left in tears of pride I think. I had been a little worried that she would kinda freak out but she was fine and we where glad she was there for the time she was. Melissa was still having insane contractions when she decided to hop in the shower that was attached to the room. We had heard how soothing it was and brought down the pain. It ended up being really awkward for her. I tried to help but to no avail. So we go out and a little while after that she started to push.


Melissa started pushing at about 3:45. That was CRAZY! That part is a little bit of a blur. I remember holding her arms and feeling her muscles surge under my hands and thinking how strong she was. She didn't use any medicine. All natural. Mary said she could feel a lot of hair on the baby's head and I started getting excited. Our baby was going to be Born!! Oh man! After a while of pushing they told us they would have to call the doc that could do the vacuum thing. I felt a little trepidation but we had do what we had do. So the guy finally shows up and he has this ridiculous looking mustache and big teeth. I already didn't like this guy. He started poking around and being really rough. A few more contractions and he got out the suction thing. It really isn't as crazy as it sounds. I had a chance to feel how strong one of these things was in one of our prenatal classes and it was surprisingly weak. Anyway Melissa pushed for a contraction with the sucction thing and she asked the midwife how long it should take with this thing. Mary told us that they could only try three times with it then we had to go to a c-section. Shit. So needless to say on the next push Josephine's little head emerged into the world. 'I can see her head' I yelled. It seemed like every one was saying to push and yelling. Then I could see her arm and the doc pulled her out all the way. I was screaming "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!" and Melissa was just hollering all the while a joyful "AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

I tell ya, that right there was the best moment of my life thus far. Seeing my little girl for the first time was just .... Fuck, it was just stellar! I can't even describe how amazing it was. Josie sort of whimpered a little as they got the gunk out of her nose and mouth then they laid her on Melissa's chest. We see her face and Josie sort of yawns and looks at us. we are both crying and looking at her and hugging and feeling like eagles. I mean my heart was soaring and as big as Texas. I have always wanted to be a father and now I have my chance. I fell in love right then and there with my sweet daughter, Josephine Amelia Ann Valenzuela. She was born at 6:30 am on August 18th. (That was the approximate time that she would have been induced.

She was born 15 years to the day that Melissa and I met at the Carnival. I think back to that day. We where kids smoking cigarettes and trying to look cool beneath the lights of the tilt-o-whirl. How could we have know the great love we would find in each other and how that love would create such a beautiful child.

Over the next few days Melissa and I got pretty much no sleep at all but we have been on a cloud since then. Now we are a real family. I am so happy to teach Josie all sorts of things. I have been playing music for her and telling her this story:
"I met your mother at a carnival 15 yrs ago. She was so beautiful. I stopped to ask her if she would help me search for you. She looked at me with the lights reflecting in her eyes and said yes. The very next day a slipped a silver wedding ring on her finger and together we roamed the earth. We wondered in the wilderness looking for a perfect little girl. We searched under every stone and behind every door. Then one evening just after the sun went down we came to an orchard. We were hungry so we ate some fruit and walked along the long dark rows. Then we heard a sound, a little whimper, a little laughter. We followed that sound to the very end of the orchard where the pine tress rose up. There you were, just sitting under an apple tree, eating apples. You had leaves in your dark hair and seeds in your hands. We could hear the wolves howling very close so we ran to you and bundled you up real close to our hearts. We took you home to love you forever and ever. You are that perfect little girl we had been searching for for 15 years."

Art, anti-boredom and skills

Got a bunch of new work over at the Hat Factory blog . Check it out. I have been drawing and designing a lot more lately. I am going to start screen printing. I have done some screen printing before: shirts, small posters, two color patches that sort of thing. The fact is I have been on a sort of hiatus. Melissa is way prego (and beautiful) and I kind of know I wont be able to do as much in the coming weeks when the baby is born so I am sort of building speed and momentum to try and continue to make a lot of work. I think that when an artist leaves college and gets out in the real world there is a huge challenge there. To continue to make work is very difficult. I made it through that one fine and I still produce work just about every day or I do something to get my name and work out there a little more. Most often I do both. Then getting married was not really a challenge to making art because My wife is a photographer so she understands. But now having a kid... Thats a big one. perhaps the biggest one. All the books say: don't start any big projects right now what ever you do. Guess what, I started a big project with my long time accomplice Isaac. We are going to be making prints and books then going places to sell said prints and books. RIght now we are in the production stage of our first wave of screen prints. Our other accomplice is Teddy(singer of Mayflower a fucking killer punk band) is helping us with his all access pass to the college facilities. I have a little work space at my house but I have to clean it. Then I think we can work on smaller stuff here. Anyway...
I just feel like to pause is criminal. I think it would be a disservice to our child to lose our selves when we have kids. I want our kid to know what it is like to be around artists and go to shows. I want her to be excited about life and I feel that in order to do that we have to be excited about life. I am always excited, fascinated and curious so I don't think that would be a problem. When my niece or nephew say their bored I tell them that only boring people are bored. So far I believe that. If I ever feel like boredom might be rearing its head I try to think more in-depth about whatever I am doing or seeing and so far that has served me well.
Melissa is feeling very warm and I can't do much to help. We have been to the hospital THREE times already thinking we were in labor. I am starting to feel like our daughter is not going to be born till she is at least seven or eight years old. Sheesh. We are hoping that her water breaks so we know for sure that we will be going to the hospital for a reason. It seems, my friends, that movies have lied to us for generations. A woman's water only breaks about 30% of the time! Sheeit! Melissa has been a real trooper through this all. everyone was saying that she would be mega crazy... nope. She is as lovely as ever with only a few minor breakdowns. Perhaps she is just a lot tougher that your average prego.

I just wish Josie would be born already. I am tired of waiting. Everything is in readiness and all her clothes are hanging in the closet, We have her crib and cradle all set up, her toys lined up, blankets are folded, baby monitor, room decorated...... Our hearts are ripe and our brains aglow! JOSEPHINE AMELIA ANN VALENZUELA the world awaits your arrival!