Monday, October 5, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Team Valenzuela and The Neverending story
It was around 4:30pm when the doc's office called and asked if we would like to move our induction up from 6:00 pm to 6:30 am. Of Course we should, I said, because I wanted to meet our baby so badly. Melissa told them yes and our brains sort of teemed with worry, excitement and holyshitness. We both went around the house to tidy up. It seemed to take forever. We wanted the house to be absolutely ready for Josephine's arrival. We got in bed around 11:30 or so. Maybe earlier.
We lay there in the dark thinking. I could not sleep at all. I asked Melissa if she was still awake. Yes. We talked a little while about what the next day would bring. I said we need to get some rest. She got up to go to the bathroom then we where going to get some Z's. I lay there and wondered. When I heard her coming back I kinda knew. I am not sure if it was the pace of her footfalls or some psychic connection or whatever. She came in the room and said, "Cayetano, I think my water just broke'. I got up and we decided we should call the doc. It is an answering service so we had to wait for the midwife to call back. While we did that we called Melissa's mom and by the time the midwife called back we were dressed and headed out the door. Melissa was having some pretty intense contractions by the time we got in the van at around 12:05. By 12:35 we arrived at the Hospital. (Usually an Hour drive. I drove 90 MPH the whole time)
When we got into the room a nurse who seemed a little surly got us prepped and put melissa on monitors. A mid wife came in that we didn't know and I worried for only a moment because she turned out to be the sweetest lady ever. She had a soothing voice and was not afraid to touch us in a caring way. A hand on the shoulder or a head pet is kind of amazing when being administered by a caring midwife. She seemed genuinely happy to be there even though she said she had been at the hospital for three days with out sleeping in her own bed. Her name was Mary and she was awesome. She told us that we would be able to push soon. My heart pounded. Holy crap! I did stay calm though. I knew I had to, for Melissa. I would not show her that I was feeling at all worried. Her contractions where coming really fast now and she was in alot of pain. She did not shout. She did not curse me. She merely whimpered and strained and said it hurt. I found it really hard to not be able to help her even though she insisted that I was helping by talking to her and holding her. I tried to put on some music but I could not get the ipod to work. I was so pissed at my self for not checking it the day before. I ended up calling my sister at like 2:30 in the morning asking her to bring me a boom box and some music. Carrie showed up with SIgur Ros which was f'n perfect. (later I realized the problem was that I hadn't switched the external speakers on.) Melissa's mom was in the room till about 3:30 or so. She left in tears of pride I think. I had been a little worried that she would kinda freak out but she was fine and we where glad she was there for the time she was. Melissa was still having insane contractions when she decided to hop in the shower that was attached to the room. We had heard how soothing it was and brought down the pain. It ended up being really awkward for her. I tried to help but to no avail. So we go out and a little while after that she started to push.
Melissa started pushing at about 3:45. That was CRAZY! That part is a little bit of a blur. I remember holding her arms and feeling her muscles surge under my hands and thinking how strong she was. She didn't use any medicine. All natural. Mary said she could feel a lot of hair on the baby's head and I started getting excited. Our baby was going to be Born!! Oh man! After a while of pushing they told us they would have to call the doc that could do the vacuum thing. I felt a little trepidation but we had do what we had do. So the guy finally shows up and he has this ridiculous looking mustache and big teeth. I already didn't like this guy. He started poking around and being really rough. A few more contractions and he got out the suction thing. It really isn't as crazy as it sounds. I had a chance to feel how strong one of these things was in one of our prenatal classes and it was surprisingly weak. Anyway Melissa pushed for a contraction with the sucction thing and she asked the midwife how long it should take with this thing. Mary told us that they could only try three times with it then we had to go to a c-section. Shit. So needless to say on the next push Josephine's little head emerged into the world. 'I can see her head' I yelled. It seemed like every one was saying to push and yelling. Then I could see her arm and the doc pulled her out all the way. I was screaming "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!" and Melissa was just hollering all the while a joyful "AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
I tell ya, that right there was the best moment of my life thus far. Seeing my little girl for the first time was just .... Fuck, it was just stellar! I can't even describe how amazing it was. Josie sort of whimpered a little as they got the gunk out of her nose and mouth then they laid her on Melissa's chest. We see her face and Josie sort of yawns and looks at us. we are both crying and looking at her and hugging and feeling like eagles. I mean my heart was soaring and as big as Texas. I have always wanted to be a father and now I have my chance. I fell in love right then and there with my sweet daughter, Josephine Amelia Ann Valenzuela. She was born at 6:30 am on August 18th. (That was the approximate time that she would have been induced.
She was born 15 years to the day that Melissa and I met at the Carnival. I think back to that day. We where kids smoking cigarettes and trying to look cool beneath the lights of the tilt-o-whirl. How could we have know the great love we would find in each other and how that love would create such a beautiful child.
Over the next few days Melissa and I got pretty much no sleep at all but we have been on a cloud since then. Now we are a real family. I am so happy to teach Josie all sorts of things. I have been playing music for her and telling her this story:
"I met your mother at a carnival 15 yrs ago. She was so beautiful. I stopped to ask her if she would help me search for you. She looked at me with the lights reflecting in her eyes and said yes. The very next day a slipped a silver wedding ring on her finger and together we roamed the earth. We wondered in the wilderness looking for a perfect little girl. We searched under every stone and behind every door. Then one evening just after the sun went down we came to an orchard. We were hungry so we ate some fruit and walked along the long dark rows. Then we heard a sound, a little whimper, a little laughter. We followed that sound to the very end of the orchard where the pine tress rose up. There you were, just sitting under an apple tree, eating apples. You had leaves in your dark hair and seeds in your hands. We could hear the wolves howling very close so we ran to you and bundled you up real close to our hearts. We took you home to love you forever and ever. You are that perfect little girl we had been searching for for 15 years."
We lay there in the dark thinking. I could not sleep at all. I asked Melissa if she was still awake. Yes. We talked a little while about what the next day would bring. I said we need to get some rest. She got up to go to the bathroom then we where going to get some Z's. I lay there and wondered. When I heard her coming back I kinda knew. I am not sure if it was the pace of her footfalls or some psychic connection or whatever. She came in the room and said, "Cayetano, I think my water just broke'. I got up and we decided we should call the doc. It is an answering service so we had to wait for the midwife to call back. While we did that we called Melissa's mom and by the time the midwife called back we were dressed and headed out the door. Melissa was having some pretty intense contractions by the time we got in the van at around 12:05. By 12:35 we arrived at the Hospital. (Usually an Hour drive. I drove 90 MPH the whole time)
When we got into the room a nurse who seemed a little surly got us prepped and put melissa on monitors. A mid wife came in that we didn't know and I worried for only a moment because she turned out to be the sweetest lady ever. She had a soothing voice and was not afraid to touch us in a caring way. A hand on the shoulder or a head pet is kind of amazing when being administered by a caring midwife. She seemed genuinely happy to be there even though she said she had been at the hospital for three days with out sleeping in her own bed. Her name was Mary and she was awesome. She told us that we would be able to push soon. My heart pounded. Holy crap! I did stay calm though. I knew I had to, for Melissa. I would not show her that I was feeling at all worried. Her contractions where coming really fast now and she was in alot of pain. She did not shout. She did not curse me. She merely whimpered and strained and said it hurt. I found it really hard to not be able to help her even though she insisted that I was helping by talking to her and holding her. I tried to put on some music but I could not get the ipod to work. I was so pissed at my self for not checking it the day before. I ended up calling my sister at like 2:30 in the morning asking her to bring me a boom box and some music. Carrie showed up with SIgur Ros which was f'n perfect. (later I realized the problem was that I hadn't switched the external speakers on.) Melissa's mom was in the room till about 3:30 or so. She left in tears of pride I think. I had been a little worried that she would kinda freak out but she was fine and we where glad she was there for the time she was. Melissa was still having insane contractions when she decided to hop in the shower that was attached to the room. We had heard how soothing it was and brought down the pain. It ended up being really awkward for her. I tried to help but to no avail. So we go out and a little while after that she started to push.
Melissa started pushing at about 3:45. That was CRAZY! That part is a little bit of a blur. I remember holding her arms and feeling her muscles surge under my hands and thinking how strong she was. She didn't use any medicine. All natural. Mary said she could feel a lot of hair on the baby's head and I started getting excited. Our baby was going to be Born!! Oh man! After a while of pushing they told us they would have to call the doc that could do the vacuum thing. I felt a little trepidation but we had do what we had do. So the guy finally shows up and he has this ridiculous looking mustache and big teeth. I already didn't like this guy. He started poking around and being really rough. A few more contractions and he got out the suction thing. It really isn't as crazy as it sounds. I had a chance to feel how strong one of these things was in one of our prenatal classes and it was surprisingly weak. Anyway Melissa pushed for a contraction with the sucction thing and she asked the midwife how long it should take with this thing. Mary told us that they could only try three times with it then we had to go to a c-section. Shit. So needless to say on the next push Josephine's little head emerged into the world. 'I can see her head' I yelled. It seemed like every one was saying to push and yelling. Then I could see her arm and the doc pulled her out all the way. I was screaming "Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!" and Melissa was just hollering all the while a joyful "AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
I tell ya, that right there was the best moment of my life thus far. Seeing my little girl for the first time was just .... Fuck, it was just stellar! I can't even describe how amazing it was. Josie sort of whimpered a little as they got the gunk out of her nose and mouth then they laid her on Melissa's chest. We see her face and Josie sort of yawns and looks at us. we are both crying and looking at her and hugging and feeling like eagles. I mean my heart was soaring and as big as Texas. I have always wanted to be a father and now I have my chance. I fell in love right then and there with my sweet daughter, Josephine Amelia Ann Valenzuela. She was born at 6:30 am on August 18th. (That was the approximate time that she would have been induced.
She was born 15 years to the day that Melissa and I met at the Carnival. I think back to that day. We where kids smoking cigarettes and trying to look cool beneath the lights of the tilt-o-whirl. How could we have know the great love we would find in each other and how that love would create such a beautiful child.
Over the next few days Melissa and I got pretty much no sleep at all but we have been on a cloud since then. Now we are a real family. I am so happy to teach Josie all sorts of things. I have been playing music for her and telling her this story:
"I met your mother at a carnival 15 yrs ago. She was so beautiful. I stopped to ask her if she would help me search for you. She looked at me with the lights reflecting in her eyes and said yes. The very next day a slipped a silver wedding ring on her finger and together we roamed the earth. We wondered in the wilderness looking for a perfect little girl. We searched under every stone and behind every door. Then one evening just after the sun went down we came to an orchard. We were hungry so we ate some fruit and walked along the long dark rows. Then we heard a sound, a little whimper, a little laughter. We followed that sound to the very end of the orchard where the pine tress rose up. There you were, just sitting under an apple tree, eating apples. You had leaves in your dark hair and seeds in your hands. We could hear the wolves howling very close so we ran to you and bundled you up real close to our hearts. We took you home to love you forever and ever. You are that perfect little girl we had been searching for for 15 years."
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Art, anti-boredom and skills
Got a bunch of new work over at the Hat Factory blog . Check it out. I have been drawing and designing a lot more lately. I am going to start screen printing. I have done some screen printing before: shirts, small posters, two color patches that sort of thing. The fact is I have been on a sort of hiatus. Melissa is way prego (and beautiful) and I kind of know I wont be able to do as much in the coming weeks when the baby is born so I am sort of building speed and momentum to try and continue to make a lot of work. I think that when an artist leaves college and gets out in the real world there is a huge challenge there. To continue to make work is very difficult. I made it through that one fine and I still produce work just about every day or I do something to get my name and work out there a little more. Most often I do both. Then getting married was not really a challenge to making art because My wife is a photographer so she understands. But now having a kid... Thats a big one. perhaps the biggest one. All the books say: don't start any big projects right now what ever you do. Guess what, I started a big project with my long time accomplice Isaac. We are going to be making prints and books then going places to sell said prints and books. RIght now we are in the production stage of our first wave of screen prints. Our other accomplice is Teddy(singer of Mayflower a fucking killer punk band) is helping us with his all access pass to the college facilities. I have a little work space at my house but I have to clean it. Then I think we can work on smaller stuff here. Anyway...
I just feel like to pause is criminal. I think it would be a disservice to our child to lose our selves when we have kids. I want our kid to know what it is like to be around artists and go to shows. I want her to be excited about life and I feel that in order to do that we have to be excited about life. I am always excited, fascinated and curious so I don't think that would be a problem. When my niece or nephew say their bored I tell them that only boring people are bored. So far I believe that. If I ever feel like boredom might be rearing its head I try to think more in-depth about whatever I am doing or seeing and so far that has served me well.
Melissa is feeling very warm and I can't do much to help. We have been to the hospital THREE times already thinking we were in labor. I am starting to feel like our daughter is not going to be born till she is at least seven or eight years old. Sheesh. We are hoping that her water breaks so we know for sure that we will be going to the hospital for a reason. It seems, my friends, that movies have lied to us for generations. A woman's water only breaks about 30% of the time! Sheeit! Melissa has been a real trooper through this all. everyone was saying that she would be mega crazy... nope. She is as lovely as ever with only a few minor breakdowns. Perhaps she is just a lot tougher that your average prego.
I just wish Josie would be born already. I am tired of waiting. Everything is in readiness and all her clothes are hanging in the closet, We have her crib and cradle all set up, her toys lined up, blankets are folded, baby monitor, room decorated...... Our hearts are ripe and our brains aglow! JOSEPHINE AMELIA ANN VALENZUELA the world awaits your arrival!
I just feel like to pause is criminal. I think it would be a disservice to our child to lose our selves when we have kids. I want our kid to know what it is like to be around artists and go to shows. I want her to be excited about life and I feel that in order to do that we have to be excited about life. I am always excited, fascinated and curious so I don't think that would be a problem. When my niece or nephew say their bored I tell them that only boring people are bored. So far I believe that. If I ever feel like boredom might be rearing its head I try to think more in-depth about whatever I am doing or seeing and so far that has served me well.
Melissa is feeling very warm and I can't do much to help. We have been to the hospital THREE times already thinking we were in labor. I am starting to feel like our daughter is not going to be born till she is at least seven or eight years old. Sheesh. We are hoping that her water breaks so we know for sure that we will be going to the hospital for a reason. It seems, my friends, that movies have lied to us for generations. A woman's water only breaks about 30% of the time! Sheeit! Melissa has been a real trooper through this all. everyone was saying that she would be mega crazy... nope. She is as lovely as ever with only a few minor breakdowns. Perhaps she is just a lot tougher that your average prego.
I just wish Josie would be born already. I am tired of waiting. Everything is in readiness and all her clothes are hanging in the closet, We have her crib and cradle all set up, her toys lined up, blankets are folded, baby monitor, room decorated...... Our hearts are ripe and our brains aglow! JOSEPHINE AMELIA ANN VALENZUELA the world awaits your arrival!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Almost there!
36 weeks and counting the days!!!!!!
So we have the nursery set up. We decided on a nautical theme. We like anchors and sail boats in a sort of 1920's privateer sort of fashion. (not like the joann fabrics light house thing. YUCK.) Our buddy Isaac got us an original page from Sammy Harkhams amazing comic Poor Sailor. That is hands down our favorite comic. If you didn't know I am a little bit of a comic nerd.
Check out what Josie was doing the other day when we were watching a movie! I think that part sticking out is her head or butt. She had been transverse but now She is in the right position, head down! NICE WORK JOSIE!
Here are just some of the cool things we got. I can't find the photos I took on the day... I will try to find more form the GNar-B-Que Baby shower.
So anyway, our birthing class is kinda a drag. I like the info and the instructors are nice and everything but the whole awkward atmosphere with the other parents is out of control. There is nothing we have in common with any of them. I really wish there where more cool parents for us to hang with. I mean shit, where are all the punk rock moms and dads? or at least free thinking. There are some cool parents here in Oswego but for some reason I feel strange talking with them about parenthood before Josie is born. There is this dude John S. who has five kids. We used to hang out in Oswego back in the day when we would spend our days looking cool and drinking TONS of coffee at Perkins. (Eternal Coffee mug!). Now, he is a cool dad. He is so patient and calm. After I got back from college We met back up in Oswego and I remember being really impressed. I think I am a pretty calm dude and I hope I can keep it together like that. His kids are crazy and awesome. His wife is really cool too. I wish they were in our class.
I think Missy and I are going to start a radical parenting monthly potluck. I am not sure what that will entail except that we will get together with some of our parenting friends and talk about raising rad kids. I think there are about Six or seven cool parents that I want to get this started with.
Also, lately I have been thinking about how perfect a system birth is. I mean, the fact that breasts produce colostrum that helps the baby's immune system is awesome. Breast milk is free food so no matter what the baby can eat as long as mom is in the vicinity. pregnancy last so many months to create another living human also helps us to understand the gravity of what is about to happen to your life. This shit is permanent! Its like a tattoo that you have to feed! Ha! Or having a puppy that slowly learns to talk! Or y'know a life altering manifestation of you and your partners DNA that brings with her or him a demanding responsibility, huge bills that you are not ready for, tons of peripheral gear, an entire new set of skills that you have to learn how master and implement, and this little person has ability to learn how to speak to say "mama and papa", "school sucks" and "this band rules".
I think so far the most profound thought to me has been that from nothing, from the amorphous realm of sheer possibility there comes this person. A thinking breathing person that will eventually have brand new ideas to contribute to the human race. She will think of things I have never thought of and that Melissa has never thought of. That blows me away!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Wow this is gonna be so Awesome!
Things have been going really great! Melissa has been getting sick more and peeing a bunch. We have been taking classes and getting ready for the chaos! We had a family baby shower and a friend coed baby shower. We got soooo much stuff. It has been really great feeling the support and love that everyone has shown us.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
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